More specifically him.
You lost your chance and you can't consume yourself with this web of regret that has spun around you and has trapped you in the dark. You can't see him as your sunshine any longer, because with sunshine comes a storm that rages when the sun sleeps and hides away. It's been an eclipse for you since he left, leaving all this drama behind him and too many words left unsaid. Too many beautiful, treasured moments that you can never forget. But you know he's there, you have contact now-you want to blurt it all out, relinquish yourself of the chains and weights holding you down. It's wrong though, he can't still feel the same-besides he said it himself to a friend. He's over you, he just wants to be friends, and you should want that too. No matter how much your heart pounds, you have to wait longer, you have to see him again.
It's been years, he had to have changed.
Could he still be the one you adore? The one you go to sleep and think about as the one you love. "I love him," you try to convince yourself, it seems. "He loves me," you wish to believe. But you have to get over him. Get over those piercing blue eyes that you'd trust with your very own life, the ones that were filled with life, making you believe in eternal life. Everyday he made the day much better, and everyday you grew to realize a soft feather. It was a feather that had touched you, and got you to see, that this was the somebody you'd been dying to meet. But you were scared, so young, unsure, since he was soon to go, but could it be that the torment was worse? ---Not seeing to your heart, following through, to tell him I love you, and hear an I love you too.
You got over him...for a little while, but guess what? He's come back.
There's a ring of the doorbell, your mom calls you down, says it's a friend, the boy without a doubt. You can't hide your joy. You're closer to him, you try to show signs, signs that you still love him, but it's not clear to his eyes. Or so it seems and he bides his time.
Now that you look back it is clear to see, that you weren't the only one struggling.
You were sure of your love, he seemed sure of it too, but yet no words of love shared between you. Can't help but wonder, can't help but believe, that if one of you had confessed, sadness would be a thing of a far, far away past. Smiles and days of happiness so bright would shed a new light in this life of yours and mine. He was such a likable guy. Some found him annoying, hyper, and bright. He was my bright yellow sunshine. Sure he was blinding, hurt my eyes, though he got me to see that there was still hope for you and for me. As long as he lives, as long as amnesia doesn't cloud your poor soul, you'll always have him to crawl back to on all fours.
Sure he might be taken (he is by me)
Sure he could find someone better
(Or someone just like me)
But I'm counting on the weather
(And the someone to be me)
To be a hundred percent cloud free.
Though my biggest hope is to get over him. God he just makes me so love-sick!